All posts filed under: Thoughts

Insecurity

Insecurity. A satisfying word; ten letters, five syllables. Easily spoken and digested. Its relatively small size belies the enormity of the feeling it describes. Because insecurity distorts everything, it is an unsettling filter through which to view life. It begins existence as a minute seed sewn by something as small as a throwaway comment by a trusted someone, perhaps. It grows, however, and quickly. It spreads and changes and fills up all the empty spaces inside your head and your heart, eventually cramping out other, infinitely more rational, feelings. Insecurity makes you doubt your reactions to everything. Not always immediately. Usually you will have already reacted, and almost certainly in a negative capacity. Then comes the sensible, though often entirely too late, afterglow that tells you, maybe, that you are not hated, or hateful, that *insert relevant occurrence here* was just a misunderstanding. Insecurity, in my experience, facilities the making of truly terrible decisions. Feeling unworthy of love, attention, happiness, essentially anything good, can inevitably lead to settling for less than ideal eventualities. Relationships are, …

Should I Claim Compensation if I Get Delayed at the Airport?

Airport delays seem to be pretty common these days and some people decide that they will claim compensation for the delay but other people do not bother Whether you try to get compensation may depend on a variety of factors and it is worth considering these when you are thinking about claiming. How long was the delay? If the delay was only a few hours or less, then you really do not have much of a case for compensation. Passing this amount of time is unlikely to be massively stressful to most people and not have a significant impact on their onward journey with regards to cost or inconvenience. However, if you feel that it has had a significant impact on you, even if was only a short delay then it could be worth considering. There are rules in place with regards to long delays and compensation and it is worth finding out about these. These can be quite complex, for example if your flight is leaving from the EU, UK, Iceland, Liechtenstein, Norway or …

When Having It All Doesn’t Quite go to Plan

I grew up in the 90’s when the idea of women having it all had become a reality and most of my friend’s mums worked, often in jobs that gave them school holidays off with their children.  The Holy Grail, as it seemed to me back then, and the ideal to which I have subconsciously aspired ever since.  The closer I have got to this dream scenario, however, the more it has transpired that, actually, having it all is (for some of us) technically impossible. By the age of 22, I had two children and few prospects.  I studied part time, worked little jobs here and there whilst my partner was out of work, and volunteered too – anything to get something racked up on my poor starving CV.  We drifted like this for four years until James nabbed a teaching job – something he had always wanted – with just one small snag… it was in China. So off he pootled for the best part of a year whilst I stayed home with our 2 and 4 …

All the Things I Thought but Didn’t Say

In social anxiety Words remain thoughts More often than not. Sometimes they are exactly the right words; A well-timed anecdote  A witty retort An intelligent response  All stranded in a chasm of fear Unable to make themselves heard. Often As irony dictates My mind is actually racing Bursting with myriad thoughts Yet none of them fit  With what you just said. Did I use the right fork? Was it weird to look over there? Do I look bored?  Don’t look bored! What the fuck did I miss while I was lost inside my own head? Just laugh… just laugh! You may mistake The misplaced laughter Or unanswered question  As rudeness;  Others have! But don’t be fooled: If I am struggling to keep up with a conversation  Or fit in somewhere It is most likely because I want to impress. I’ve thought You look beautiful  And What a lovely dress; I know exactly what you mean Or sometimes just hear this… At times Even thank you Gets entirely stuck. Thank you for not hating me Mostly I …

You Were ’16, Going On ’17…

From March onward, 2016 seemed to fly and I suppose overall we had a fairly good year. Not a glowing report, you may notice, and I’m still undecided on whether it’s a year I will look back on fondly or not. There were many highlights, including holidays to Athens and Paros, a huge number of blog-related opportunities, both children thriving at school and in their chosen clubs, and a new career path for me. There were also a couple of notable low points, things that have affected me quite profoundly. Friendships disintegrated without reason, relationships were tested; the children suffered as a result, which I find most unforgivable. But, however difficult I have found the past few weeks and months, it all belongs firmly in 2016.  Today, we emptied our 2016 happy jar and sifted through its contents, remembering events and milestones. Seeing as though I often forget to add mementos to the jar, I was surprised at how full it actually was. Jasmine pulled out tickets and leaflets and wristbands, talking about each one …